FIELD UPDATE: 13:23 HOURS – CONFIRMED SIGHTINGS OF ESSEX HIGHWAYS OPERATIVES

Image by Martin Foskett / Knelstrom Media

Eyes on the ground at Glebe End have confirmed the worst this morning: two individuals spotted in full hi-vis, clipboards in hand, tape measure unfurled like a sword of bureaucratic doom. They were Essex Highways, no longer shadows in the hedgerows but fully materialised agents of disruption. We can only assume a new tactic is being drafted, a possible expansion of the closure perimeter, or a fresh scheme involving cones, confusion, and spiritual despair.

Elsewhere, Franklin Drive is now ringed with "No Parking" cones, deployed in formation around the notorious noisy manhole. No work has been done yet, but the signs are there. Something's brewing beneath the surface, literally. If the ground starts humming or steam vents appear, proceed with caution and bacon sandwiches.

On a brighter note, Ambrose Corner near Tesco is nearing the final chapter of its resurfacing saga. The last layer of tarmac is going down, hot, smooth, and strangely majestic. This long-running operation is finally nearing its end.

End of Transmission.

Tunnel teams remain on standby. The donkey has eyes on Hall Road. Sara's pigeons are circling. Stay alert.

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